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Are you a bored stay at home mom? Why is being a mom not entertaining?
I am a stay at home mom, so this post is written from that perspective. I don’t doubt, however, that it applies to all mothers.
After becoming a stay at home mother, I have found myself spending more and more time on my phone. Why is this?
Bored Stay at Home Mom
After much prayer and reading, I came to the conclusion that I am bored. Yes, I have a million and five things to do – making appointments, cleaning the house, changing diapers, play dates, cooking dinner, etc. As the days go on, all of those things start to feel more and more mundane. There is no more weekend, just a world full of Mondays. My mind is bored.
Being a boy mom does keep me on my toes, but even grabbing objects out of my son’s mouth all day long becomes routine. A challenging, frustrating, and dehumanizing routine that can lead to checking out mentally. How many stay at home moms find themselves lacking a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day? Surely I’m not the only one.
So, what’s the problem? Why am I not entertained?
Separating the Sacred from the Secular
Over the summer, I read an article by Focus on the Family – Canada about “Experiencing Joy and Purpose as a Stay-at-Home Parent.” I came across the article while searching how to have Biblical joy as a mom. If you haven’t read my story of God using adoption and motherhood to rock my world, click here.
The author of the article, Jodi McIsaac Martens, read one of my favorite books, The Practice of the Presence of God. This book includes writing, letters, dictations from a 17th-century monk, Brother Lawrence. If you want an attitude check, then this book is for you. I remember being convicted as I read how he uses everyday, mundane tasks to worship God. The small tasks aren’t actually small. God uses everything for His Glory.
After reading the book, Martens asked herself the question, “Does my household work play a significant role in my spiritual life?” Her answer was no, and when I asked myself this question over the summer, my answer was also, obviously, no. She goes on to discuss the separation of the sacred and the secular. The sacred is for Sunday morning worship, sharing the good news of the Gospel, going on a mission trip, etc. The secular is everything else. Sweeping up cheerios, teaching my child how to use the potty, and folding a mountain of laundry are secular, completely separate from my sacred “quiet time.”
But should they be?
Being a stereotypical missionary going on brave adventures to bring the Gospel to the unreached people of a remote mountain village sounds entertaining and exciting. Staying home with a 2-year-old boy sounds much less glamorous. Is being a career missionary really exciting and glamorous? No, it involves daily sacrifice, perseverance, and testing of faith. Being a career missionary can be both dangerous and lonely. But from here, while rocking my screaming son or from the church pew as I try not to let my mind wander and think about this week’s meal plan, the grass on the other side appears fulfilling and meaningful.
If, however, we combine the sacred and the secular, like Brother Lawrence, we find ourselves serving a sovereign, almighty God in every moment. The mundane is now a sacred act of worship. That is exciting!
Is holding my son during a meltdown fun? Absolutely not, but it reminds me of the love God has poured into my broken heart. Is crying after I have my own meltdown fun? Absolutely not, but I am reminded of God’s faithfulness and mercy in each moment. When I clean up the great pooptastrophe of 2017 (It’s been a crazy week ya’ll), I persevere and do all things to and for His glory.
In each little moment, I have the opportunity to show my son the incredible God I serve. That is an amazing and fulfilling purpose. Christ is using this time of my life to shape my character.
Are you a bored stay at home mom? Are you not entertained?
Is being a mother hard? Yes, but He is worth it.
Want to go deeper? Here are some verses to read.
I would love to hear from you! How do you find meaning and purpose as a mother? When you find yourself separating the “sacred” and the “secular,” how do you intentionally strive to worship God in all things?