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As an introvert, making mom friends seems an impossible task. Turns out, I’m not alone. In the Christian Introverted Moms Facebook group, the most common struggle women say they face is building community. Lasting, genuine friendships that aren’t filled only with superficial small talk feel like a myth.
John 15:12-13: “‘This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.’”
Making and keeping friends may not be easy, but Jesus has called believers to a life of sacrificial love toward others. I asked a few of my blogger friends to share what this looks like in their lives. As an introverted mom who struggles with relationships, their words have both encouraged and convicted me, and I pray they do the same for you.
Embrace Simple Hospitality
Danielle Munoz – Living Free Indeed
Mommy life can feel so lonely, especially if your day’s deepest conversation consists of whether it’ll be grilled cheese or PB&J for lunch. Yet God doesn’t want us to live in isolation; once we join the body of Christ through belief in Jesus, He calls us to live in community.
In the New Testament, there are over 20 “one another” verses that exhort believers to walk by faith together. This includes loving one another (John 13:34), building up one another (4:12), serving one another (Galatians 5:13), rejoicing and weeping with one another (Romans 12:15) and encouraging one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11), to name a few.
So how does this happen? One primary way is through friendships with other Christian women in your local church. The problem is it’s so easy to leave Sunday service or Bible study without more than a polite, “how are you?”
One way to open opportunities to share your heart with other moms is to simply open your home – invite them over. It doesn’t have to be formal. Your home doesn’t have to be spotless. Just clear off your table, ask moms to bring their own food, throw out a bunch of toys or even let the kiddos indulge in a Veggie Tales movie, and share prayer requests. That’s it!
Now you can be creative – form a book club with Christian titles, go through a devotional, look up fun conversation cards, or if you do enjoy cooking, have the ladies taste test a new dish or baked good you’re trying out. Make it a weekly or monthly ritual, and let it be a “mom-date” in addition to a play-date for anyone who can make it.
The goal isn’t seeking to impress, but to bless, and seek to follow Hebrews 10:24-25:
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
Recommended Resource from Rapt Motherhood – Mary and Martha: How to Show Hospitality as an Introvert
Making Mom Friends by Being a Friend
Julie Loos – Unmasking the Mess
Romans 12:13 (NLT) – When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality
Be the One to Reach Out
Kira Bridges – KiraBridges.com
As a shy child, I always waited for someone else to make the first move—to invite me to play or sit by them at lunch. This strategy for making friends served me well for years, even after I outgrew my shyness. But after college, my strategy broke down as I went over a year without making a friend in my new town.
Eventually, I realized if I wanted friends, I needed to do something about it—I needed to be the one to reach out. As an introvert, this gave me lots of anxiety, but what I learned is many women long for someone to reach out to them—to notice them and say, “I want to know you.”
Jesus was an expert at noticing people. When He entered Jericho, Zacchaeus desperately climbed a tree just to get a glimpse of Him. When Jesus saw him, He said “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down, for I must stay at your house today.” (Luke 19:5b ESV).
Can you image Zacchaeus’ joy? Jesus not only saw him but said, “I am choosing you.” We offer others the same joy through an invitation to spend time together.
Now, not everyone you reach out to will become a fast friend and that’s okay, but the more you reach out, the easier it gets, and the more likely it is you’ll find good friends.
Are you ready? Think about the people in your life and chose one to reach out to today. Ask them out for coffee, or over for a playdate. A simple action could be the start of a friendship.
Don’t Discount Long-Distance Friendships
Emily Myrick – Married Myrick
The wisdom from Proverbs 27:17 is exactly what I aim for in my close friendships: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (ESV).
As I’ve grown in my relationship with Jesus, I’ve come to realize just how crucial godly friendships are. After college, I moved to a new city and came to the realization of how difficult it can be to find Christ-centered community as an adult (especially in a new place where you don’t know anyone!).
I prayed for a local community of believers for a couple of years before God blessed me with our current “small group.” It is truly such a blessing to be able to walk through life with these families, meeting weekly to share a meal and study the word together. And although nothing can replace actually doing life with others, I think it’s so important not to discount long-distance friendships.
God took longer than I expected to answer my prayer for community, but not without blessing me in a huge way along that journey. I reconnected with my middle school best friend (crazy, right?!) and she has been one of the major influences in my life that have helped me stay accountable, search the Scripture for answers to questions, and love God more deeply. She has truly been one of those iron friends, even though we live hundreds of miles apart.
If you’re currently not living in your hometown, let me challenge you to reach out to a few close friends. Long-distance friendships can be difficult and shouldn’t replace in-person connections, but with apps like Voxer, WhatsApp, and Marco Polo, modern technology can make those friendships even stronger than what they were before you left!
Recommended Resources for Making Mom Friends
As an introverted mama myself, I started the Christian Introverted Mamas Facebook group. Motherhood is hard and sometimes our unique personalities add even more challenges. This is a group for introverted, Christian moms to share, ask questions, and seek Christ together. The ultimate goal of this group is to bring God glory, but hopefully, you will also find encouragement and support as you personally strive to bring Him glory.
The Gospel and Friendship – Aaron Menikoff at The Gospel Coalition
For the Introverted Mom – Allyson Reid at Morning by Morning