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My son is at the age where he is beginning to gain some independence but still needs the majority of things done for him.
Some days, I find myself tired of it all.
Tired of wiping his bottom. Tired of hearing the phrase “hepa me pease” (help me please for those not fluent in my toddler’s language). Tired of being touched 24/7.
I want a break. A chance to rest from the hard work of being mama. I’m overwhelmed and tired of being needed.
My burdens are minuscule, but I feel the weight of them adding up day after day.
Why Am I Tired of Being Needed?
What makes motherhood feel so hard? Is it the monotony? The feelings of unappreciation? The pressures our generation feels to be Pinterest perfect mothers?
When my husband gives me a break most weekends, I am tempted to use the time to recharge by scrolling on social media, but, in reality, that’s not rest.
I’m also all too aware that a week-long family vacation with a toddler would definitely not provide rest.
So, what’s the secret? When I’m feeling overwhelmed, tired of being needed, how can I find the satisfaction and rest that I’m desperately seeking, even with Daniel Tiger playing in the background?
In Humble Roots, Hannah Anderson says that we too often treat our emotional symptoms without addressing the greater issue.
“If we go on vacations without cultivating humility, we’ll return to our stress once the bags are unpacked…As long as we refuse to accept that our pride is the source of our unrest, we will continue to wither on the vine.” Humble Roots by Hannah Anderson pg 54
Living in pride means that “we are not existing as we were meant to exist” (pg 40).
“But,” my heart fights back, “motherhood really is hard.”
“I deserve a break. Time away from everything is truly the answer.”
Hannah Anderson says,
“Because pride convinces us that we are more significant than we really are, it also convinces us that we deserve a certain experience of the world; and when something disrupts that, our pride reveals itself by complaining.” (Page 140)
Humility and Rest
Terrible twos, special needs, difficult pregnancies, whatever your burdens are, may not feel like something you deserved. Even if you don’t want to admit it, many of us feel that the life we deserved should have been different. However, when I humble myself before a Holy God, realizing my place before Him, that should change my attitude toward the work He has called me to do. I have a high calling to Gospel-centered motherhood, for the sake of my child and as a witness to the world.
Yes, there are times I physically need rest. As an introverted mom, I frequently need alone time to recharge. The ability to take a break can be helpful. For some, humility may mean asking for help. Realizing that you are not super mom, that you can not do this alone. A dear friend told me,
“If a friend offers a meal…take it! This does not mean you’re not a good mom, it means that a dear friend knows it has been a rough day and they want to help you! This goes along with errands, cleaning, and any offers of help! Sometimes you may need a friend to vent to, or cry to…and that is okay!”
Pride says that I have to address all tantrums immediately, being completely committed to all of my parenting choices. Humility says that it’s okay to take a step back, maybe remove yourself from the room (if the child is in a safe place), breathe, pray, and then address the situation.
Pride says that we have to listen to the swirling emotions, the words in our head that we can’t seem to break free of. Humility “frees us from the oppression of our emotions, [and] when we finally learn that ‘God is greater than our heart,’ [1 John 3:20] it also frees us to enjoy the depth and variety of our inner life. We are free to enter into our emotions, letting them do what God intends for them to do: draw us back to Himself.” (Page 113)
In your desires for rest today, humble yourself and seek Christ. Let the frustration, anger, fear, insecurities, and exhaustion push you into the arms of your Savior. When you’re tired of being needed, may you be supported by the Mediator who understands.